Butterflies fluttering around you can be taken as a good sign, but what about when they are in your stomach. I was so calm and collected up until a couple of days past the transfer then I started paying attention to little details more, is that cramp them implanting, am I more nauseas, does my back hurt in a different way, is my temperature rising slightly, why don't I feel more different... did. it. work.
I think once the reality set in that these babies were no longer in the safety of their frozen storage and now trying to find a way to bring new life into this world, it became more real and stressful. Not in a way that puts stress on my body but stress on my heart for Patty and Shawn having to wait to hear if this worked.
It was so easy the first time that it was hard not to assume it would be the same, until I read more stories and realized that we actually got very lucky having it happen so fast last time.
Though I just had such a strong feeling that a little girl would come from this I will be a little shocked if the blood results come back negative Friday. But the pressure is on, if this doesn't work there is only one more little boy waiting for transfer.
I have had dull cramps the last few days which I am praying does not mean I am about to get my period and the transfer was not successful. Unfortunately a lot of pregnancy symptoms are the same as side effects of the medications I am taking as well as oncoming menstruation, nausea, back ache, cramps.
I just wish there were more clear signs that would reassure us before Friday. The time between the blood draw and the clinic email will seem like forever, in that time we can stay in the zone of wondering if this worked the first time...
But I do know we did everything we could to give them the best chance of a successful transfer, with good looking uterine lining and progesterone levels, good looking embryos that survived the thaw, and a loving process filled with such hope.
Hoping this adventure continues <3
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