I have no regrets about this and could not have been matched with a better couple. I only hope that they find some sort of peace knowing they tried.
You are strong enough to face it all, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
Monday, March 2, 2020
10 days post transfer.
This journey did not go as any of us had planned. When we signed contracts last year and agreed to three transfers, I never even considered it would take more than one. I was so naïve going into this expecting it to work so easy. I now know that that is not how fertility or IVF work. The odds are literally against you, but it is so easy to forget that part. We have now completed three transfers and none were successful. People often refer to them as failed transfers, but I hate the word fail in this situation. We have put in so much effort, hope, love, and science along the way that we just expected it to work. We did everything right, covered all our bases, asked all the right questions and did all the right procedures. There is no reason it didn't work, other than this just not being fair. If this process were fair at all, they would have a house full of kids at this point. But instead, we were handed broken hearts.
I have no regrets about this and could not have been matched with a better couple. I only hope that they find some sort of peace knowing they tried.
I have no regrets about this and could not have been matched with a better couple. I only hope that they find some sort of peace knowing they tried.
Friday, February 21, 2020
3 days post transfer
If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there. 💛💙💜
3 days post transfer, that time where you see few people get faint lines yet also that time where it is too soon to test. Our first transfer, I was so naïve thinking it would work like it did with my first twin surro journey. I was honestly surprised to never see a second line. After our second transfer I was cautiously optimistic but scared after the first fail.
This third and final journey could go anyway, but I have been focusing on the fact that regardless of what road we choose and what emotions I try to be mindful of, the outcome will be the same. The embryos were beautiful, they were hatching like they couldn't wait to get on with life.
At this point, we are either pregnant or we are not. So for the next couple days, I’m going to talk to the little embabies like they are growing as we we hope and dream.
I think of them as our little butterflies, because my stomach will be fluttering until we get those beta results. During our last transfer I was so anxious and sad and allowing myself to wallow and grieve before we got to the beta in an attempt to bury those uncomfortable feelings sooner. Since this is our last transfer, I don’t want this joyous feeling to go away any sooner than it has to. We are going to focus on the little butterflies flourishing inside me. I’m going to be grateful for every pill and shot I have to give myself to keep them growing. I’m going to embrace the nausea and other symptoms because it is part of the journey.
The pain will always be waiting for us if we get a negative result. But, we are not there.
We will remain in this place of excitement and love and the beautiful chaos of the unknown and will love our little butterflies as long as we can.
Manifesting positive thoughts..
thinking of us all 9 months from now, I'm guessing October 15th, we will be in the hospital waiting on their arrival. Butterflies in all our stomachs until we hear the first cry, the noise that shatters fear and longing. Once our little butterflies come out of their cocoon and spread their wings for the first time, we can look back on what an adventure this has been.
3 days post transfer, that time where you see few people get faint lines yet also that time where it is too soon to test. Our first transfer, I was so naïve thinking it would work like it did with my first twin surro journey. I was honestly surprised to never see a second line. After our second transfer I was cautiously optimistic but scared after the first fail.
This third and final journey could go anyway, but I have been focusing on the fact that regardless of what road we choose and what emotions I try to be mindful of, the outcome will be the same. The embryos were beautiful, they were hatching like they couldn't wait to get on with life.
At this point, we are either pregnant or we are not. So for the next couple days, I’m going to talk to the little embabies like they are growing as we we hope and dream.
I think of them as our little butterflies, because my stomach will be fluttering until we get those beta results. During our last transfer I was so anxious and sad and allowing myself to wallow and grieve before we got to the beta in an attempt to bury those uncomfortable feelings sooner. Since this is our last transfer, I don’t want this joyous feeling to go away any sooner than it has to. We are going to focus on the little butterflies flourishing inside me. I’m going to be grateful for every pill and shot I have to give myself to keep them growing. I’m going to embrace the nausea and other symptoms because it is part of the journey.
The pain will always be waiting for us if we get a negative result. But, we are not there.
We will remain in this place of excitement and love and the beautiful chaos of the unknown and will love our little butterflies as long as we can.
Manifesting positive thoughts..
thinking of us all 9 months from now, I'm guessing October 15th, we will be in the hospital waiting on their arrival. Butterflies in all our stomachs until we hear the first cry, the noise that shatters fear and longing. Once our little butterflies come out of their cocoon and spread their wings for the first time, we can look back on what an adventure this has been.
Wednesday, February 19, 2020
1 day post transfer
TRANSFER COMPLETE!
We got there early to spend some time with Patty and Shawn before heading back, as nice and relax as one could be before getting pregnant. The doctor said the embryos were beautiful, one almost completely hatched and the other actively hatching! The actual transfer went smooth or in the doctors words "poifect".
It's hard not to be a symptom spotter when you are impatiently waiting for a sign that that transfer stuck while also trying to focus on being relaxed and staying positive that this will all work out.
After the transfer I went home and spent most of the night relaxing in bed, getting up every so often to make sure the blow stayed flowing through my body, trying to mind control it into pumping up the uterus. I woke up a couple times through out the night but didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.
Today my lower back is a bit sore, which I have heard other who transferred say they experienced, as well as some light cramps and some twitches in the uterine area. From timelines I have seen, it is around 2-3 days post transfer that the embryo attaches and that is when you may feel some twinges in that area, so I'm taking it as a good sign the girls are snuggling into their sports for the next 9 months.
We got there early to spend some time with Patty and Shawn before heading back, as nice and relax as one could be before getting pregnant. The doctor said the embryos were beautiful, one almost completely hatched and the other actively hatching! The actual transfer went smooth or in the doctors words "poifect".
It's hard not to be a symptom spotter when you are impatiently waiting for a sign that that transfer stuck while also trying to focus on being relaxed and staying positive that this will all work out.
After the transfer I went home and spent most of the night relaxing in bed, getting up every so often to make sure the blow stayed flowing through my body, trying to mind control it into pumping up the uterus. I woke up a couple times through out the night but didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.
Today my lower back is a bit sore, which I have heard other who transferred say they experienced, as well as some light cramps and some twitches in the uterine area. From timelines I have seen, it is around 2-3 days post transfer that the embryo attaches and that is when you may feel some twinges in that area, so I'm taking it as a good sign the girls are snuggling into their sports for the next 9 months.
Me before transfer: I’ll test at 7pdt
.
Me at transfer: I’ll test at 5 dpt
.
Me 1 hour post transfer: it could be positive 4pdt...
.
Me 6 hours post transfer... too soon?
Wednesday, February 12, 2020
Cleared for transfer!
The ultrasound and blood work looked great today. My lining is thickening as needed and my ovaries are quiet. Tonight I will start the PIO shots and next Tuesday we will all meet again to transfer the girls.
The rainbow symbolism serves as an obvious symbol of peace and serenity. These feelings are often evoked when looking at a rainbow. More significantly, rainbows are often seen after a rainstorm when the sun breaks through the clouds. This provides us with a very powerful and important message.
Patty and Shawn have had their unfair share of rainstorms and this transfer will hopefully be the break in the clouds we have been waiting for. The girls have been waiting patiently for the time to continue growing and finally be back in the arms of their parents later this year.
TRANSFER: 2/28/2020 at 11:30am!
The rainbow symbolism serves as an obvious symbol of peace and serenity. These feelings are often evoked when looking at a rainbow. More significantly, rainbows are often seen after a rainstorm when the sun breaks through the clouds. This provides us with a very powerful and important message.
Patty and Shawn have had their unfair share of rainstorms and this transfer will hopefully be the break in the clouds we have been waiting for. The girls have been waiting patiently for the time to continue growing and finally be back in the arms of their parents later this year.
Waiting on our pot(s) of gold at the end of the RAINBOW
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
One week and counting!
We have moved the transfer date up to 2/18 so that Patty can fly in and be there for her girls.
The girls. The Gallo Girls. There is something about the way that sounds that just feels right, like it was meant to be.
We have an ultrasound and blood work tomorrow to confirm my lining is thickening up as needed, which it has for the last three cycles so I am not concerned about that, and to confirm my ovaries stay quiet and there are no follicles. So basically they can cheer us on silently on the sidelines.
And in one week we will be giving the girls a new home where they hopefully stick around for the next 9 months or so!
If this was a natural cycle I would already be 1 week and 5 days pregnant, since you are considered 2.5 weeks pregnant at transfer with 5-day blasts. Which means we will be due in October!!
The girls. The Gallo Girls. There is something about the way that sounds that just feels right, like it was meant to be.
We have an ultrasound and blood work tomorrow to confirm my lining is thickening up as needed, which it has for the last three cycles so I am not concerned about that, and to confirm my ovaries stay quiet and there are no follicles. So basically they can cheer us on silently on the sidelines.
And in one week we will be giving the girls a new home where they hopefully stick around for the next 9 months or so!
If this was a natural cycle I would already be 1 week and 5 days pregnant, since you are considered 2.5 weeks pregnant at transfer with 5-day blasts. Which means we will be due in October!!
Wednesday, February 5, 2020
Two weeks and counting
Two weeks and counting until the transfer!
The Estrace caused some mild nausea when I first started it again, but it passed quickly.
This cycle feels just right, in the words of Goldilocks. I was hesitant to transfer after February because the delivery would be pushed into Winter and I want to make sure we can make it to the hospital without snow covered roads! So a February transfer works great, putting delivery by November.
Transferring in the month of love and delivering in the month of Thanks.
Perfection!
The Estrace caused some mild nausea when I first started it again, but it passed quickly.
This cycle feels just right, in the words of Goldilocks. I was hesitant to transfer after February because the delivery would be pushed into Winter and I want to make sure we can make it to the hospital without snow covered roads! So a February transfer works great, putting delivery by November.
Transferring in the month of love and delivering in the month of Thanks.
Perfection!
Monday, February 3, 2020
Hello February! Baseline US and Med Schedule
The baseline ultrasound yesterday looked great, lining was beautiful and blood work just right.
I started the estrace yesterday which I will continue for the next 10 weeks (fingers crossed!).
We have a follow up ultrasound on the 12th, and if all looks good the progesterone in oil shots start the 13th. Just in time for Valentine's Day (my daughter's original due date).
Our transfer is tentatively scheduled for February 19, 2020. A great day to get pregnant!
I started the estrace yesterday which I will continue for the next 10 weeks (fingers crossed!).
We have a follow up ultrasound on the 12th, and if all looks good the progesterone in oil shots start the 13th. Just in time for Valentine's Day (my daughter's original due date).
Our transfer is tentatively scheduled for February 19, 2020. A great day to get pregnant!
February is filled with much love in my world, with my daughter's birthday, my birthday and Valentines Day. And now we will be transferring their two little girls and this month will be filled with even more love.
Thursday, January 30, 2020
Hello ladies, two little girls ready for transfer!
The results are in and we have 2 normal female embryos!
I know that Patty and Shawn really wanted a boy and a girl but of course they are thankful to have the good news that two of the embryos are able to be transferred so they now have the chance again at not one, but two girls. And to be transferred in the month of Love!
I have been saying all along that I had a feeling they were going to have a little girl. We have been through a lot already with this surrogacy journey but it does not put a damper on the feeling that this time it is going to work.
Next steps: waiting on my cycle to start so I can get the baseline ultrasound and start meds!
I know that Patty and Shawn really wanted a boy and a girl but of course they are thankful to have the good news that two of the embryos are able to be transferred so they now have the chance again at not one, but two girls. And to be transferred in the month of Love!
I have been saying all along that I had a feeling they were going to have a little girl. We have been through a lot already with this surrogacy journey but it does not put a damper on the feeling that this time it is going to work.
Next steps: waiting on my cycle to start so I can get the baseline ultrasound and start meds!
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
Embryos Under Construction
12 follicles, 8 fertilized embryos, 5 frozen tested and frozen.
Now the waiting game.. continues! Once we have the results of the genetic testing, I will stop taking birth control and when my cycle starts I will begin the medications for (hopefully) our last transfer, of two embabies, and would be due at the end of this year.
No better way to celebrate 2020, than to bring one or two babies into this world and into the loving arms of two parents who have had to wait too long.
Now the waiting game.. continues! Once we have the results of the genetic testing, I will stop taking birth control and when my cycle starts I will begin the medications for (hopefully) our last transfer, of two embabies, and would be due at the end of this year.
No better way to celebrate 2020, than to bring one or two babies into this world and into the loving arms of two parents who have had to wait too long.
Let's do this!
Thursday, January 2, 2020
Happy New Year
It is a new year and time for change. We are continuing our baby making journey and will soon be making embryos. Our hope is to create enough to transfer two embryos for our potentially last transfer which should be scheduled by the end of February hopefully.
We will proceed with hope and positivity, acknowledging previous transfers while not letting them determine the outcome of future transfers. Cheers to the new year, let it be very productive for us all!
We will proceed with hope and positivity, acknowledging previous transfers while not letting them determine the outcome of future transfers. Cheers to the new year, let it be very productive for us all!
Friday, December 20, 2019
Next steps
The beta was negative again. We were a little more prepared since I tested the previous morning, but it doesn't make it any easier. It was the last embryo, the last little boy, the last chance before more a lot more time/money/emotions/etc. will have to be exhausted.
A plan was discussed with the doctor and it looks like our next steps are to collect eggs to make more embryos. There is so much waiting involved in surrogacy, waiting for matches, contracts, cycles, ultrasounds, transfers, blood work, blood work, and more blood work! And now we move on to the next stage together where we will sit on the edge of seats waiting to see how many follicles, eggs, embryos and viable embryos will come to us to continue our journey.
It sounds like we may be looking at a potential late January-February transfer which would put a due date into late next year. My only concern through this was delivering in the winter in case we could not make it to the hospital. But at this point we are so determined to get through this with a baby or two on the other end, I am already prepping in my mind on weather tracking and staying at a friends house near the hospital if there is even the slightest hint of snow near delivery time!
I know we need to take this one step at a time, day by day, but we are all ready for a miracle so if this next year could bring us some miraculous days, that would be much appreciated.
A plan was discussed with the doctor and it looks like our next steps are to collect eggs to make more embryos. There is so much waiting involved in surrogacy, waiting for matches, contracts, cycles, ultrasounds, transfers, blood work, blood work, and more blood work! And now we move on to the next stage together where we will sit on the edge of seats waiting to see how many follicles, eggs, embryos and viable embryos will come to us to continue our journey.
It sounds like we may be looking at a potential late January-February transfer which would put a due date into late next year. My only concern through this was delivering in the winter in case we could not make it to the hospital. But at this point we are so determined to get through this with a baby or two on the other end, I am already prepping in my mind on weather tracking and staying at a friends house near the hospital if there is even the slightest hint of snow near delivery time!
I know we need to take this one step at a time, day by day, but we are all ready for a miracle so if this next year could bring us some miraculous days, that would be much appreciated.
Wednesday, December 18, 2019
8dpt - one line
As of this morning, the home pregnancy tests have been negative. It has been just as hard this time knowing this transferred may have failed. We have done everything we could have done to give us the best result... a baby. But for some reason, the odds were against us. I guess in IVF, the odds can easily be against you.
This time, Patty and Shawn know about the test before going into the beta tomorrow. I hope that it makes it a little less stressful, nothing will make it easier, but at least a little less stressful.
We are already talking about a plan to get more eggs/embryos and go at this again. This will give them back a chance at a girl, and also twins. At this point I would gladly transfer three embryos to up our chances. We are going to make a baby, I am confident in that. And this time we should also have the option of a fresh transfer.
This time, Patty and Shawn know about the test before going into the beta tomorrow. I hope that it makes it a little less stressful, nothing will make it easier, but at least a little less stressful.
We are already talking about a plan to get more eggs/embryos and go at this again. This will give them back a chance at a girl, and also twins. At this point I would gladly transfer three embryos to up our chances. We are going to make a baby, I am confident in that. And this time we should also have the option of a fresh transfer.
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
7dpt
One week since transfer, two days until blood work. Every time I feel even the slightest symptom, I lean into it praying I will get nauseas or my breasts will get sore (my tell). And each day that passes makes this transfer feel similar to the first. I feel more prepared this time, regardless of the outcome, knowing we will get through this together and keep going. When I mention in the surrogacy groups that I have not yet seen a second line on any pregnancy tests, women respond with hopeful stories of not seeing a line until six or seven days after transfer, one woman had negative tests up until her beta and was very surprised she was pregnant after assuming the transfer had failed.
I bought the cheapie tests, so if it was negative, I could say maybe they are wrong. I took a test just shy of 5 and 6 days post transfer, so if it was negative, I could say maybe it was too soon. But it is quite deflating to not see that second line by 6 days post transfer. Yes, I know that some people get a positive test after 6 days but from what I have seen if you don't see a line by 6 days, it can be telling about what the beta will reveal. I am preparing for this one to possibly be the same outcome as our first transfer and will be over the moon if little Eddie was just a slow grower and is in there multiplying cells as I type.
I believe Patty and Shawn want to create more embyros, which could give them back the possibility a girl or even twins. This thought also warms my heart. I can picture it in my head, nine months pregnant, lying in a hospital bed with Patty by my side, hand on the bump, talking to her little one(s) waiting for them to come out, smiling up at Shawn. I can see it, clearly. We just need to figure out a way to get there.
I bought the cheapie tests, so if it was negative, I could say maybe they are wrong. I took a test just shy of 5 and 6 days post transfer, so if it was negative, I could say maybe it was too soon. But it is quite deflating to not see that second line by 6 days post transfer. Yes, I know that some people get a positive test after 6 days but from what I have seen if you don't see a line by 6 days, it can be telling about what the beta will reveal. I am preparing for this one to possibly be the same outcome as our first transfer and will be over the moon if little Eddie was just a slow grower and is in there multiplying cells as I type.
I believe Patty and Shawn want to create more embyros, which could give them back the possibility a girl or even twins. This thought also warms my heart. I can picture it in my head, nine months pregnant, lying in a hospital bed with Patty by my side, hand on the bump, talking to her little one(s) waiting for them to come out, smiling up at Shawn. I can see it, clearly. We just need to figure out a way to get there.
Friday, December 13, 2019
3dpt - Dear Santa
The last three nights I have woken up out of a dead sleep to being wide awake. Two of the nights the pavlovian response to waking at 3am was yell "are you ok?" since the reason I am usually up around that time is when one of the kids has a bad dream and comes barreling into our room. But this morning the second my eyes opened I felt ready to run a marathon.
I don't think I feel the little cramps like I did yesterday but I swear if I try to focus on a symptom, like nausea, it gets worse (insert eye roll). So I am going to try to distract myself from trying to focus on any symptoms, since there is no way to know if the meds are causing any symptoms or not.
Dear Santa, can you please add a crystal ball to my wish list... along this a positive pregnancy test...
I am not sure if my nightly awakenings have anything to do with fatigue, but I have had a hard time staying awake on the bus home from the hospital after work. One night this week I think I may have actually fallen asleep for a moment, and had to question if I missed my stop when I woke up (I didn't). But I do remember feeling exhausted in the first trimester with the twins so hopefully this is a sign my energy is being pulled to other parts of my body for a good cause.
I don't think I feel the little cramps like I did yesterday but I swear if I try to focus on a symptom, like nausea, it gets worse (insert eye roll). So I am going to try to distract myself from trying to focus on any symptoms, since there is no way to know if the meds are causing any symptoms or not.
Dear Santa, can you please add a crystal ball to my wish list... along this a positive pregnancy test...
I am not sure if my nightly awakenings have anything to do with fatigue, but I have had a hard time staying awake on the bus home from the hospital after work. One night this week I think I may have actually fallen asleep for a moment, and had to question if I missed my stop when I woke up (I didn't). But I do remember feeling exhausted in the first trimester with the twins so hopefully this is a sign my energy is being pulled to other parts of my body for a good cause.
Thursday, December 12, 2019
2dpt - Please be a zebra
“When you hear hoof beats in the hallway, think horses, not zebras.”
...unless your are 2 days post transfer and have your ear to the ground praying those hoof beats are zebras. Every cramp or twinge in my lower abdomen has me stopping to wonder, could this be implantation??? Did my temperature just rise a little? Am I nauseas or car sick? Is it the meds causing symptoms or something else?
After our last transfer I didn't feel much different, until about a week after when I felt dull cramps that were very similar to those you feel before a period starts. I am trying to stay off Google, away from percentages and success rates depending on variables of transfer, and stick with the thought that we have done everything we could to make sure the embryo had the perfect environment to thrive given the chance and keeping my eye on the prize of handing him back to Patty and Shawn come August.
Throughout the day I have felt some mild cramps off and on, some a quick and sharp, others longer and dull.
...unless your are 2 days post transfer and have your ear to the ground praying those hoof beats are zebras. Every cramp or twinge in my lower abdomen has me stopping to wonder, could this be implantation??? Did my temperature just rise a little? Am I nauseas or car sick? Is it the meds causing symptoms or something else?
After our last transfer I didn't feel much different, until about a week after when I felt dull cramps that were very similar to those you feel before a period starts. I am trying to stay off Google, away from percentages and success rates depending on variables of transfer, and stick with the thought that we have done everything we could to make sure the embryo had the perfect environment to thrive given the chance and keeping my eye on the prize of handing him back to Patty and Shawn come August.
Throughout the day I have felt some mild cramps off and on, some a quick and sharp, others longer and dull.
Wednesday, December 11, 2019
1dpt - It's getting hot in here
1 day post transfer...
Last night when I was sitting on the couch after the kids went to bed, I noticed I felt warmer than usual, a very rare thing in our house. Usually my husband is begging to turn down the heat while I threaten to put my cold hands and (colder) feet on him if he goes near the thermostat. But last night when I mentioned I was feeling a little warm (not feverish!), we both looked at each other and said "maybe that means something!", since I always felt like I ran hot during pregnancy even though I didn't have a higher temperature.
After our last transfer I had some mild cramps 5-7 days after the transfer and headaches and nausea most days, but the medications also have those side effects so I felt like I was trying to look for any signs/symptoms that would prove to us I was pregnant.
It is too soon to over analyze any symptoms, we will save that for tomorrow, but I felt a little mild cramping today which will continue my hope that this little guy is implanting and will be sticking around!
Last night when I was sitting on the couch after the kids went to bed, I noticed I felt warmer than usual, a very rare thing in our house. Usually my husband is begging to turn down the heat while I threaten to put my cold hands and (colder) feet on him if he goes near the thermostat. But last night when I mentioned I was feeling a little warm (not feverish!), we both looked at each other and said "maybe that means something!", since I always felt like I ran hot during pregnancy even though I didn't have a higher temperature.
After our last transfer I had some mild cramps 5-7 days after the transfer and headaches and nausea most days, but the medications also have those side effects so I felt like I was trying to look for any signs/symptoms that would prove to us I was pregnant.
It is too soon to over analyze any symptoms, we will save that for tomorrow, but I felt a little mild cramping today which will continue my hope that this little guy is implanting and will be sticking around!
So for now I am saying Bye Bye to coffee, at least until we get to beta, (insert ugly cry) to make a nice calm environment to incentivize Eddie to hang around.
Tuesday, December 10, 2019
Knock me up doc!
TRANSFER DAY!
Today could not have gone better! We definably missed Patty and Shawn being there in person, and then our video chat would not work (ahhhh!) but they were able to stay on the phone with us during the transfer which seemed quick and easy! Their puppies needed them this week, and while it would have been great to have them there, especially since things went so well today, I am happy they were both home together to celebrate how well everything went today and didn't have to travel so far for such a quick appointment.
During our first transfer the male doctor seemed to have a hard time getting the catheter in the right place and kept asking if he was in the right spot which I think put us on a little on edge. This time, with my bladder a little less full and way more comfortable, the nurse (who I love) was able to see my uterus and fundus right away and apparently had a great view. The catheter went directly into place where it needed to be and BAM, the little embryo was in there! There was such a good positive vibe in the room, and I felt a little more at ease with the female doctor who I have enjoyed working with there (the same doc who transferred the twins during my first surrogacy).
Today could not have gone better! We definably missed Patty and Shawn being there in person, and then our video chat would not work (ahhhh!) but they were able to stay on the phone with us during the transfer which seemed quick and easy! Their puppies needed them this week, and while it would have been great to have them there, especially since things went so well today, I am happy they were both home together to celebrate how well everything went today and didn't have to travel so far for such a quick appointment.
During our first transfer the male doctor seemed to have a hard time getting the catheter in the right place and kept asking if he was in the right spot which I think put us on a little on edge. This time, with my bladder a little less full and way more comfortable, the nurse (who I love) was able to see my uterus and fundus right away and apparently had a great view. The catheter went directly into place where it needed to be and BAM, the little embryo was in there! There was such a good positive vibe in the room, and I felt a little more at ease with the female doctor who I have enjoyed working with there (the same doc who transferred the twins during my first surrogacy).
Let it go! Let it go! Into my uterus let the embryo flow!
Next Appointment: Blood work on 12/19/19 (9dpt)
Wednesday, December 4, 2019
ERA Results and Ultrasound
We got the ERA results which showed I would be more receptive with an additional day of progesterone, so 6 days instead of 5 days of shots pre transfer. I had an ultrasound yesterday morning which showed the lining was great, they wanted at least 8mm and I was at 12mm. Yay! Then I saw the ultrasound tech measuring something after looking at the uterus and ovaries and after enough of there I knew that the screen looked a little different. Of course I had to ask, and she said there was one small follicle, which the estrace should be suppressing follicles from growing and me from ovulating. She did not seem the least bit concerned since the progesterone shots that I start today should keep my ovaries quiet, as well as get rid of the tiny bit of fluid that was in there. The last two cycles they saw a little bit of fluid which went away quickly with the PIO shots.
This time the clinic did not even request another ultrasound before transfer to confirm the fluid has gone away, which makes me think they are confident enough it will which means that the next time I see them will be on Transfer Day!
My mother told me her father's birthday is December 10th, his name was Edward so I have been lovingly referring to the little blastocyte as Eddie the Embyro, or the little embryo who could (hopefully!). I called my grandfather Nono and always thought it was so cool he met and married my grandmother who I called Nona, thinking how perfect it was that people with such similar names fell in love. As I grew up I realized their names were actually Edward and Marie and we only referred to them as Nono and Nona, which still makes me smile.
My grandfather passed away when my mom was pregnant with me, and she has told me numerous times over the years about the day they held his service at their home in San Francisco. She went upstairs into her parent's bedroom to lie on the bed and have some quiet from the friends and family gathered downstairs. She said she suddenly felt his presence so strongly that she thought she would see him sitting on the end of his bed next to her. He was a very loving and loyal man to his family and apparently has been with me in spirit since I was in utero so I am sending up a prayer for him to be with us throughout this journey and help little Eddie implant and grow!
This time the clinic did not even request another ultrasound before transfer to confirm the fluid has gone away, which makes me think they are confident enough it will which means that the next time I see them will be on Transfer Day!
My mother told me her father's birthday is December 10th, his name was Edward so I have been lovingly referring to the little blastocyte as Eddie the Embyro, or the little embryo who could (hopefully!). I called my grandfather Nono and always thought it was so cool he met and married my grandmother who I called Nona, thinking how perfect it was that people with such similar names fell in love. As I grew up I realized their names were actually Edward and Marie and we only referred to them as Nono and Nona, which still makes me smile.
My grandfather passed away when my mom was pregnant with me, and she has told me numerous times over the years about the day they held his service at their home in San Francisco. She went upstairs into her parent's bedroom to lie on the bed and have some quiet from the friends and family gathered downstairs. She said she suddenly felt his presence so strongly that she thought she would see him sitting on the end of his bed next to her. He was a very loving and loyal man to his family and apparently has been with me in spirit since I was in utero so I am sending up a prayer for him to be with us throughout this journey and help little Eddie implant and grow!
Shots start again tonight and we have...
ONE WEEK TO GO!!
Tuesday, November 26, 2019
Third cycle's a charm?
My period started last Sunday, I had the baseline ultrasound the next day, and started Estrace pills last Tuesday. I have not missed those pills as I seem to have headaches throughout the day when taking them but it is exciting to get right back into this cycle.
We have a tentative transfer date of December 10th, which would put the due date in late August. The failed transfer was a hard hit, but there is something about this cycle that feels different. I am hoping we get helpful results from the ERA, while trying not to let the failed transfer put any doubts in my mind. I almost feel naïve that I went into the first transfer with such confidence. But we have taken all the steps to make it successful and there is a little boy waiting to meet his parents so I choose to believe that this time next month I will be looking at a positive pregnancy test.
We have a tentative transfer date of December 10th, which would put the due date in late August. The failed transfer was a hard hit, but there is something about this cycle that feels different. I am hoping we get helpful results from the ERA, while trying not to let the failed transfer put any doubts in my mind. I almost feel naïve that I went into the first transfer with such confidence. But we have taken all the steps to make it successful and there is a little boy waiting to meet his parents so I choose to believe that this time next month I will be looking at a positive pregnancy test.
Two weeks until transfer. Let the journey continue!
Hopefully third cycle's a charm!
Tuesday, November 19, 2019
CYCLE 2 - ERA
During our first transfer, my lining and labs looked great and the embryos were a good quality so there was no real reason for the transfer to fail other than the odds of IFV never really being in your favor. So we decided to ask for a way to increase our success with the next transfer, especially since it is the last embryo.
During our 2nd cycle, instead of doing the transfer on November 14th, we did an endometrial receptivity array (ERA), a this test was developed to evaluate issues with the receptivity of the uterus that may lead to failed implantation.
To achieve successful implantation, an embryo must be at the correct developmental stage when the uterus is prepared to accept it. This precise timing is known as the “window of implantation.”
Traditionally it has been assumed that each woman has the same window, with implantation occurring 8 - 10 days after ovulation in most women. Consequently, embryo transfers have historically been performed on a specified day in all individuals to mimic what occurs in natural cycles. However, more recent evidence suggests that each woman may have a personal window of implantation due to alterations in the receptivity of the uterus. If a woman has a window that is displaced, the embryo and uterus may not be in synchrony and this may prevent implantation from occurring.
The goal with the ERA is to determine the ideal day for embryo transfer thereby decreasing the likelihood of implantation failure. The ERA is performed using a biopsy of the uterine lining and is done in the office without anesthesia. Progesterone is a hormone that helps the endometrium become receptive and during an IVF cycle an embryo transfer is normally performed after progesterone has been administered for five days. The ERA is done during a “mock cycle” on the same day that an embryo transfer would normally occur. Once the biopsy has been obtained, the genes involved in receptivity are analyzed and the ERA predicts the endometrium to be “receptive” or “non-receptive” on the day the transfer would have occurred.
We are waiting on the results from the ERA to determine if we will change when I start the progesterone. At the appointment, I asked the doctor what she has seen with the results of this test in their office, and she said there have been quite a few of her patients who results have shown a different receptive "window".
I am interested in hearing the results from this test and hoping we get good feedback to move forward.
During our 2nd cycle, instead of doing the transfer on November 14th, we did an endometrial receptivity array (ERA), a this test was developed to evaluate issues with the receptivity of the uterus that may lead to failed implantation.
To achieve successful implantation, an embryo must be at the correct developmental stage when the uterus is prepared to accept it. This precise timing is known as the “window of implantation.”
Traditionally it has been assumed that each woman has the same window, with implantation occurring 8 - 10 days after ovulation in most women. Consequently, embryo transfers have historically been performed on a specified day in all individuals to mimic what occurs in natural cycles. However, more recent evidence suggests that each woman may have a personal window of implantation due to alterations in the receptivity of the uterus. If a woman has a window that is displaced, the embryo and uterus may not be in synchrony and this may prevent implantation from occurring.
The goal with the ERA is to determine the ideal day for embryo transfer thereby decreasing the likelihood of implantation failure. The ERA is performed using a biopsy of the uterine lining and is done in the office without anesthesia. Progesterone is a hormone that helps the endometrium become receptive and during an IVF cycle an embryo transfer is normally performed after progesterone has been administered for five days. The ERA is done during a “mock cycle” on the same day that an embryo transfer would normally occur. Once the biopsy has been obtained, the genes involved in receptivity are analyzed and the ERA predicts the endometrium to be “receptive” or “non-receptive” on the day the transfer would have occurred.
We are waiting on the results from the ERA to determine if we will change when I start the progesterone. At the appointment, I asked the doctor what she has seen with the results of this test in their office, and she said there have been quite a few of her patients who results have shown a different receptive "window".
I am interested in hearing the results from this test and hoping we get good feedback to move forward.
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